


it's never gonna be the way you want it. so come on, get your fix now

by taye_z



Series: ghost-innit [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Ghost TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Light Angst, Mentioned Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Recovered Memories, Sleep Deprivation, Sort Of, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, TommyInnit Misses Toby Smith | Tubbo, he misses the memories, i really do not know how else to tag this, kind of, maybe??? i dont know, tommy and tubbo make up, uhh, why are the ao3 tags so horny wtf???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:01:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27931183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taye_z/pseuds/taye_z
Summary: GhostInnit just wanted to ask permission for something from Tubbo.He didn’t expect the president to break down while he wracks his brain for any memories at all, but that’s just how things happen.title: chit chat by beach weather (yes i know i'm unoriginal dont @ me)
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), did you know bill cypher thinks in capital letters?
Series: ghost-innit [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042287
Comments: 34
Kudos: 926
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	it's never gonna be the way you want it. so come on, get your fix now

Tommy pet the cow on the nose, smiling happily. “I like you!”

The cow mooed. His smile grew.

“I should ask Wilbur what I should name you. Oh, am I allowed to have pets in L’manburg?” Tommy thought out loud, petting the cow.

“Moo.”

“I agree, I should go ask the president if I can keep you! Wait here!” Tommy gave the cow one last pat before dashing off towards L’manburg.

The walls had slowly been in the process of being lowered, but were still tall enough that Tommy had to swim under the gap in the wall. He resurfaced, no water sticking to his faded body as he looked around for the president.

He saw someone who was _definitely not_ human walking around the small market, examining different things. Tommy ran up, because even though the man looked scary, his face was gentle and kind looking.

“Hi! I’m Tommy! Do you know where the president is?” Tommy asked enthusiastically. The faster he got confirmation, the faster he could move his pet cow in. Maybe he should make a small home for his cow on the patch of land on top of the sewer, because cows probably don’t want to live in a sewer.

The man smiled at him. “Hello! I’m pretty sure Tubbo is in that building over there.”

He pointed at one of the taller houses, overlooking the nation.

“Thank you!” Tommy ran up the stairs, not noticing the way the man’s face fell. The demon looked back over the items with a sudden sadness replacing the interest he had.

Tommy came to a stop at the door he thought was the right one. He quickly knocked four times, before bouncing slightly back. He heard shuffling on the other side of the door. He idly wondered how his cow was doing.

The door opened, revealing an un-kept boy. He was much shorter than Tommy, and looked a lot more worse for wear. He blinked at Tommy, “...Hi,” he said, voice sore.

Tommy noticed, but chose not to bring it up. “Hello Mr. President! I found a cow outside, and I was wondering if it was okay for me to bring it inside?”

The boy rubbed his eyes. “Uh… alright. Is that all?”

Tommy was about to say yes, to run off to his cow, but the state the boy was in made him hesitate. Something in him, some instinctive feeling told him _the boy shouldn’t look like this, he had to make it better._

“H-Hey, Tubbo, right?” The boy glanced up finally, and Tommy finally saw how dull his eyes looked.

Tommy fiddled with his hands nervously. “I-I’m sorry I don’t remember. I really wish I did. If you’re up to talk, I would really love to.”

~~The boy~~ Tubbo scrutinized him, and the feeling made Tommy’s skin crawl. That look was unnatural, not supposed to be directed at him under that intensity. He stopped to wonder why he felt like that.

“Y-Yeah… I suppose I have some time.” Tubbo motioned him to follow inside.

Tommy stepped inside, closing the door with a small _click._ He took inventory of the small room. It was surprisingly not that messy, aside from a few stray papers on the ground. The bed looked made, or maybe unslept in. The books were arranged semi-neatly on the large desk. Tubbo plopped into the chair behind the desk, motioning to the chair in front of him. Tommy sat down nervously. 

“So… uh, why don’t you start with what you remember?” Tubbo asked, pushing some books aside. Tommy noticed how the other boy’s fingers were stained black with ink.

“Well, uh, I…” Tommy leaned back, thinking hard. He spoke without thinking, just spitting out what came to mind.

“I feel really guilty for doing… something, and I kept trying to make it up to you. Uh, I remember trying to explain myself but not being able to find the right words, and then I made the situation worse. You were stressed, and you reminded me… of this guy. Which is odd, because I only remember that guy doing funny things. Not bad things.”

For a moment, he felt alive again. There was a trial, he was in a cage, in a black building with a spruce table.

“I just wanted to make it better,” he whispered. The feeling faded away, leaving him feeling like he was missing something obvious.

Tubbo sat across him, eyes a bit wide. It took Tommy a moment to notice the boy was crying.

“W-Wait, are you crying?! Shi- I mean, shoot, hold on!” Tommy rummaged through his inventory, looking for something like a tissue, or just something to make the boy crying feel better.

“No, stop. I’m alright.” Tommy stopped, looking at the boy.

“You’re clearly not,” Tommy said, trying not to sound rude.

“I-It’s just…” Tubbo trailed off, staring at an ink stain on the table.

After thinking, he sighed, rubbing the moisture from his eyes. “I miss Tommy.”

Tommy almost replied with a cheerful _“I’m right here!”,_ but was he really? The person Tubbo wanted was gone, especially since he couldn’t remember a good portion of things.

So he quietly sat, not knowing what to do. He had a small urge to make a stupid joke, try to lighten the mood, but he thought he would only make it worse.

“I-I can leave, if you want me to,” Tommy said after a few more seconds of awkward silence, already making a move to stand from the chair.

“Just- Stop, okay!” Tubbo snapped.

Tommy flinched.

Tubbo stood from the chair, starting to pace behind the desk. “I-Why can’t you just remember?! Why did you have to die?! And now you act so _different_ from actual Tommy, cause you keep silent and you don’t swear and you ask permission for stuff and you try to make people happy but in a _different_ way and you’re just too nice and you stand with good posture and the Tommy I know just did whatever. He was rude and he was funny and annoying and he didn’t care if his actions had consequences, e-even if it puts this whole stupid county at risk!”

Tubbo waved at the small window. Tommy was frozen between half-standing and sitting in the chair.

“And I hate it, because the only thing you remember about me is wanting my forgiveness! And I feel like a huge jerk, because I am, and I called you selfish and yelled at you and then I thought it would be better if you were just _gone,_ and then you were gone, and I thought I was protecting you, and now look!”

Tubbo gestured at Tommy. “Now you’re _dead,_ forever, just-”

He sat down in his chair heavily, putting his head in his hands. “I wish you were actually here,” Tubbo mumbled, sounding drained.

Tommy was silent, slowly lowering himself back into the chair. He looked at the broken boy sitting in front of him, and could feel a small nagging of _no, this isn’t how he should be acting, do something,_ but he didn’t know the source of the whispering, and he didn’t know how to make it better. Was this how Wilbur, no, Ghostbur felt when Alive Tommy snapped at him?

Tubbo said he was really brash, right? Tommy closed his eyes, trying to just remember _anything._ Not even about Tubbo, because that was probably a lost cause, but just some part of him he’s forgotten.

Something clicked in his head, and he gasped, eyes flying open.

“I-I remember something.”

Tubbo looked up, but Tommy didn’t notice, too focused on this new memory he had. “I-I was standing in a dirt shack, and it was raining through a hole in the roof. D-Dream was there, and Wilbur. Dream told us to give him our items, because he wanted to…” Tommy snapped his fingers rapidly. “I-I don’t know, he just wanted them. Wilbur handed his over, but I didn’t want to. I felt, like, really lonely, and desperate, and it was really cold and wet and miserable and I said no. Dream told me to hand them over or he would kill me, and then I said he wouldn’t kill me, he didn’t have the nerve to and then-”

Tommy rubbed his head, a fierce headache overtaking him as the memory fuzzed to an end. “Ow,” he mumbled. Was it normal for a ghost to get a headache?

“Is that all?” Tubbo asked.

“Yeah, geez. Sorry I didn’t just magically regain all my memories,” Tommy snapped, before realizing what he had said. “Uh- oops, sorry.”

“No no, don’t apologize. You’re starting to act like Tommy again.” Tubbo was smiling now, some of the fractures sealed up. Tommy nervously smiled back.

“I-Is that a good thing?”

Tubbo looked a bit startled. “Of course! Why wouldn't it be?”

“I-I don’t know.” Tommy did know, but he didn’t want to worry the president anymore than he already had.

Tubbo drummed his fingers on the table. “So, that’s probably the memory before you died, right?”

Tommy replayed the memory over and over, analyzing every little detail in his head. At a few parts, it fuzzed out, starting again with something obviously missing. But it was clearly the final moments leading up to his final death.

  
“Yep. Uh, I don’t remember _how,_ but I’m pretty sure it was Dream who did it.” Tommy thought for a moment. “Unless I got struck by lightning.”

Tubbo hummed. “Do you have, like, a scar or anything?”

Tommy glanced down at his chest instinctively. “I mean, I could check…”

Tubbo nodded at him, and he slowly lifted his shirt up. There was a small scar above his heart, all he knew was that it came from an arrow. And he knew there was a scar on his back, from when he got backstabbed by… someone. Those weren't the only marks, though.

A scar ran from roughly the bottom of his ribcage to his upper stomach. It was fairly large, and Tommy had a suspicion it was related to his death.

“So it wasn’t lighting, which means Dream probably killed you with his sword.” Tubbo, after examining the scar, leaned back into the chair. Tommy let his shirt fall, although he felt little to no embarrassment.

“The question is why. Why would Dream kill you?” Tubbo quietly thought out loud.

“I aggravated him, maybe?” Tommy shrugged.

Tubbo narrowed his eyes in thought. “Yeah, maybe, but that just doesn’t sound like something Dream would do. He’d want to keep you alive, watch you spiral into insanity.”

Tommy shivered. “Maybe it’s best I died, then.”

“No, don’t say that. I’m sure you would have been… fine.” The uncertainty in Tubbo’s voice made Tommy not too sure about that.

Tommy stood. The sun was setting on the nation, and while he didn’t really need sleep, he liked it. Made him feel just a bit more alive.

“You should really sleep.” Tubbo looked up, eyes still narrowed.

“No, I need to find out why Dream killed you. Sleep can wait.” Tubbo reached for a book. Reacting on impulse, Tommy yanked it away.

“Tubbo. Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately?”

Tubbo jolted slightly at the use of his name. He met Tommy’s eyes, gently touching the eye shadows. “Do I look that bad?” he asked himself softly.

“Y-Yes.” Tommy bit his tongue. Would it have been better if he lied then?

Tubbo sagged a little, as if suddenly feeling all the exhaustion at one. “Okay.”

Tommy raised his eyebrow. “Okay?”

Tubbo snorted a little. “Okay, I’ll sleep.”

Tommy smiled. He walked to the door, being stopped by Tubbo before going back outside.

“Hey Tommy? Thank you. I forgive you.” Tubbo’s smile was genuine.

Tommy didn’t know how to respond. Instead, he just offered an unsure smile in return. “T-Thanks.”

He closed the door behind him, hoping Tubbo actually went to sleep. He looked from his vantage point, looking over the setting sun on L’manburg. It was quite beautiful despite being blown up, he thought.

A sudden thought got him moving, running off to the spruce forest.

Oh, his poor cow.

**Author's Note:**

> hello. i am a tommy apologist. that is the end of my ted talk. 
> 
> i skipped a few of the streams because it was too unhappy for me so like sorry if some information is inaccurate
> 
> anyways i am once again asking for more ghostinnit prompts/ideas. if you have any, hand them over *gun*
> 
> nah jkjk you dont have to if you dont want to but all ideas are appreciated so i can keep this series going as long as i can! im having a blast right now, and more ideas means more happy (there is a plot line its just subtle and pretty undeveloped at the moment smile)
> 
> have a good day/night! <3


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